Feedback Session with Steve Coombes | Isolation (2016)
So! On Wednesday Nov 9th I went and met Steve Coombes at the Maidstone Studios to discuss highlights and potential improvements for my first draft 'Isolation' script.
Together we highlighted some key concerns that could be addressed in my second and third drafts, mainly consisting of content rearrangement and writing a couple of additional scenes. Coombes believed that my story lacked a consistent flow; initially I had six whole pages dedicated to the build up to the final scene, fragmented by a rather disconnected scene in a coffee shop halfway through.
Steve suggested that this would serve better as an introductory scene 2-3 pages into the script, and lead on to an additional scene of a similar nature. Rather than the lead character Beth, whilst incredibly anxious regarding her upcoming interview, accidentally running into her interviewer and having a short discussion unknowingly... in my second draft I have decided to flesh the relationship out significantly prior to the big pay off at the end, revealing that this stranger Beth has been profusely apologising to and worrying about for most of the afternoon, is in fact... the woman taking her interview.
Essentially we decided in this feedback decision that the base content grapples with an interesting concept, however requires refining into a solid, free-flowing narrative structure. Therefore adding a series of events and moments to provide both exposition on my characters and build impact up for the final 'ironic' moment at the end of the script.
I feel much more confident about my story going into the second draft!
Together we highlighted some key concerns that could be addressed in my second and third drafts, mainly consisting of content rearrangement and writing a couple of additional scenes. Coombes believed that my story lacked a consistent flow; initially I had six whole pages dedicated to the build up to the final scene, fragmented by a rather disconnected scene in a coffee shop halfway through.
Steve suggested that this would serve better as an introductory scene 2-3 pages into the script, and lead on to an additional scene of a similar nature. Rather than the lead character Beth, whilst incredibly anxious regarding her upcoming interview, accidentally running into her interviewer and having a short discussion unknowingly... in my second draft I have decided to flesh the relationship out significantly prior to the big pay off at the end, revealing that this stranger Beth has been profusely apologising to and worrying about for most of the afternoon, is in fact... the woman taking her interview.
Essentially we decided in this feedback decision that the base content grapples with an interesting concept, however requires refining into a solid, free-flowing narrative structure. Therefore adding a series of events and moments to provide both exposition on my characters and build impact up for the final 'ironic' moment at the end of the script.
I feel much more confident about my story going into the second draft!
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